Rev3 Quassy Half Rev- Race Recap 2013

As I packed things up on Friday night I was much more calm, than I have ever been packing for a half iron. I said to D- this is my 4th, if I don't have this packing down yet I'm not sure when I will. I packed my tri bag with my race clothes and such. Both wetsuits- just in case, another whole bag for all my food and fuel and of course normal people clothes.

The car was packed and we headed to Quassy. We got there around 1230, just in time to meet up with friends and get my shake out swim and bike done. It was a hot day. We had this freak 5 days or so in New England of 90 degree days, the weekend before I did my ride and run it was 45 and RAINING! COME ON NEW ENGLAND?! Jen told me it was looking like a high of 80 tomorrow- well at least it wasn't the 95 my car was reading at that point Saturday. I drank water and water with endurolytes. Made sure to eat a good sized lunch after the swim and bike. I held off on bike check in till the last minute- I didn't want Blanca to be in the heat of the day. D went for a run and I ate my packed dinner. He came back gassed and drenched, CRAP! It was almost 8 and it was still that hot and humid. Pass the water?!

Had my night before the race nightmare- something about my race not having handlebars when I got to set up transition in the morning. Who knows?! Plan was to be outta the hotel by 430- transition opens at 515. I got up hungry- had my oatmeal, bagel and a banana. Had my Nuun kona cola- works instead of coffee for me on race day. We got a great parking space- D was going to be able to sit in the back of my car and watch the pros. SCORE!

I laid out my transition- did a little obsessing and when I caught myself I knew it was time to go. I sat in the back of the car while D went and scoped out pro transition layouts. I felt my nerves get going coach said it was adrenaline. I got hungry again and had the other banana (well some of it). Then it was time to get on my wetsuit and head to the water. They changed the way to get to the water so I said a goodbye to D and headed in. D made a great suggestion go get in the water swim a bit it will relax you. I took my gel 15min before the start time, and splashed around a bit.

Swim- I watched the pro men go, then the pro women. Athenas were next with the 45+ women, thank god no men this year! I put myself in a spot at the front with a good sight to the buoys. Said a quick hello to Leslie and soon the 10sec countdown went. I dolphin dived. Thinking wow I am glad I did a bit of practice of that in my last few swims. It felt good. I got clear water and went. I saw a couple women ahead of me I tried to jump on feet but I didn't want to gas myself out. I started to think oh man maybe I should have done a few more swims?! I made the first turn at the buoy- then CRAP I can't see anything! The sun was right in our faces. Okay try your best- I asked a paddle board for where?! They said left! So I went. I think I stayed pretty much on course it was tough with the sun and the YELLOW buoys! I hit the last turn buoy and checked my watch 23- YES right on plan. I had a couple women near me and then they were gone. I must have turned on the motor for the last part. I came out of the water to screams from friends and D got the whole transition area yelling my name! I was like woah I'm gassed a bit. Slowed down for a second and D screamed- Great swim 33 min. I think hearing how fast it was made this next part happen- I threw up! Right in my mouth! I choked it back down. I didn't want anyone to see. D told me I beat pro women out of the water! D was like keep moving keep your momentum- then next breath its okay take your time. I was like which is it?! Do I need to get moving or slow down?! Eh eff it I'll get on the bike. Goal: 35 Last year: 36:26 ACTUAL: 33:48 (CRAP!)

Bike- I took down some Heed as soon as I could to get the puke out of my mouth. I tried to settle down on the bike. I ate a sleeve of Clif Blocks to try to get something in my stomach. For about the first 15-20 mi every time my heart rate got over 175 I felt light headed. I kept trying to get Heed in me it was the only thing that seemed to help my stomach feel better. I hit the first aid station and got my aero bottle refilled. I made sure to get my 2 salt tabs an hour in me- as best I could. I hit the hills- the nasty ones and knowing the course I knew what I was in for 25-35 are tough.  I made sure the whole ride to optimize my downhills- I saw my watch hit 40mph a few times. I guess I hit about 44 on on decent! Somewhere before the out and back at 40- Leslie passed me we chatted briefly on the pass. I started thinking about wanting white rice. I don't know why I guess I thought it would help my stomach. I tried to finish my second bottle of Heed before getting off the bike. I made sure to finish the second sleeve of Clif Blocks. At every aid station I grabbed a bottle of water- filled the aero bottle squirted it on me, and finished off the last of it. I could tell it was starting to get HOT. I stretched my legs a bit as I came up the last hill- yes the last 2 mi of the bike are up hill. I could feel the cramps starting in my legs. I had another salt tab. Goal: 3:30 Last year: 3:58 ACTUAL: 3:39  Okay still pretty close to the goal....

Run- I came into transition and I felt it- my legs seized. Oh no- okay spray with sunblock again. Grab everything and go. D told me to get some coke I told him I was better than last year but not great. I felt tired- what?! Okay coke will help. I headed off on the run and within the first mile my legs felt awful. Okay walk a bit- it will go away, oh get some salt in you. OH CRAP- Where is the bag of salt you put in the handheld? One of the gels and the bag of salt tabs GONE! Aid station at mile 1 I grabbed 2 salt tabs. My stomach couldn't take it- I ran walked my way to Aid station 2. Thought of what my coach had said before my first 70.3- what is causing your stomach pain- do you need to eat? go to the bathroom? Oh wow maybe that's it I had to pee like as soon as I got on the bike but couldn't get myself to relax and pee. Thinking this might fix it I waited for the porta potty. I knew it was a while till the next aid station. I tried to get myself to run- I willed myself. As soon as I would get a good pace going my stomach would cramp then I would feel like I was going to puke again. Right before I hit the next aid station- which I think it somewhere between 4-5 I took off my sunglasses and pulled my visor down. I thought of a friend's blog post about doing that at an Ironman, and it worked. I could barely see a few feet in front of me. I choked down a Clif shot as I came to the aid station. Grabbed water, ice and put my head down again. I was able to muster a shuffle with my visor down I couldn't see the coming hills. I started singing Radioactive over and over in my head. Okay keep shuffling. Soon mile 5 and 6 passed- somewhere in there I lifted my head just in time to see my friend Eric on the other side of the road walking. We exchanged encouraging words. I wish I could tell you about miles 6-10 but they are a blur. I know I wished that D would have been out on the road at 9 when we came close to the park but I am glad he wasn't because I might have considered giving in. I saw Sarah run by in a blur (damn you relay people). I told her how horrible I felt but she said I looked good. Guess I had a good game face on!  I knew there was one more out and back stretch. I hit the aid station and asked for ice. The guy handed it to me but my hands were full- I used my finger and pulled my shirt open for him to stuff it down the front! He was blushing I told him I don't care thank you! I kept trying to shuffle I looked up on the loop and saw my friend Jen. She gave me the head shake of not my day. I ran walked and Jen caught me. She said she puked in the run. I told her about my puke earlier. Both of us had great Quassy Redemption plans. And from there at mile 11 we started running/walking/pushing each other and I started to realize maybe the heat and the day got to me. Jen started to feel sick again and I put ice on her neck- hoping to help her feel better. Somewhere in mile 12 we realized after talking via twitter and facebook about our plans to do better at Quassy this year we were going to finish together! I looked down and saw my run time from last year tick away- well so much for that! I saw a girl go by and thought to myself- I bet she is another Athena.... I wish I had it in me to catch her! Let's just try not to eat away at all the gains from the swim and the bike. Jen and I crossed the finish arms up together! Goal: 2:20 Last year: 2:46 ACTUAL: 2:57:16

Last year 7:26:26 Goal: 6:30 ACTUAL 7:15:26

When I finished I hugged D thanked him for his support with my tough day. I told him I tried as hard as I could I just couldn't do it on the run course. I wanted it so badly. But I think my swim used up a lot of my race pennies and the bike took a few more and by the run I had none left. I knew while I was out there I WOULD finish! I wish I could have put together the race I wanted to have. The swim and the bike went fairly well. The run- the wheels fell off the bus. I am happy I fought through. I learned a lot about my mental toughness! I was so sun burnt, and mentally spent. I had taken time off from last year but didn't have the race I had trained for or the race I thought I was going to have. I had convinced myself on the run that even a minute off last years time would be better and I couldn't count on getting a place in Athena's that was all about who showed up on race day. My phone was full of messages congratulating me on my race on such a tough day. And somewhere in there came a message from my parents- hey you took 3rd! I had to go check the timing tent- I didn't believe it. I was so humbled to share the podium with these ladies! They had great races!

Rev3 always does pretty awesome swag for their age group winners. Not only does the finisher medal nest nicely into the age group medal. I took home all this too.Well Done Rev3!












I am not going to lie I have been beating myself up a lot about the race I wish I had! I have had my post race brain as usual. But this week- I have been EXHAUSTED. Like don't wanna get off  the couch, put your head down at your desk EXHAUSTED! D sent me this pic this is how I felt at the finish of Sunday.I hope to be back to myself soon... Talking with my coach today will help I'm sure!

Gearin Up for Quassy REDEMPTION

This weekend has been deemed Quassy Redemption. Last year I did Quassy, not exactly what I would call a good time. To be honest I went into my season plan with no intention of racing it again. I wanted to go for the much more flat Patriot Half, but it sold out. So I decided it was time to go back and do it better!

As usual with me before a half iron, I have had my FREAK out for the last couple weeks. The OH MY GOD I haven't done enough?! What am I thinking trying to do this race again?! And every other thing possible. In the middle of explaining this to D Monday night he said you need to stop- or you will make something go wrong! So that was it- Time to stop FREAKING and focus on setting myself up for success. So here's the plan:

Monday thru Friday- Bed early 10 at latest no high fiber foods  stick to taper plans start packing

 (I am really trying to stick to the bed time. Packing is coming together and the taper plan)

Friday- Finish pack- get together bike and gear from D house

Saturday- Leave by 1030 at the latest 1pm OWS then light bike followed by racking the bike. Check in get bike checked in. Then off feet in bed EARLY! Swim open 12-2 Bike Rack 2-7 packet pickup 12-7 Pro talk 2:30

Sunday- Tri shorts, tri top bra flip flops up at 4 Transition opens at 5am oatmeal with raisins and pb and bagel to go. Coffee and water/nuun to sip on. Set up transition Wave at 7am- gel at 645

Swim- wetsuit, cap goggles. Stash a gel or 2 in the pocket before start. Dolphin dives off the beach- long smooth strokes try to find some drafting if possible.  Keep an eye on sighting maybe in a weird no man’s land with the waves.  Hit boys on 11:40 and 23:20. GOAL: 35 LY: 36:26

T1- Grab a water in the transition to swish out mouth. Get wetsuit down to but by the time at the top of the exit. Take off the rest when I get to the bike and take off cap and goggles. Helmet shoes GOAL: sub 2 LY: 2:47

Bike- Recover in aero as much as possible. Try to maintain 16mph. Sit up and use a good cadence to get over hills. Salt and blocks every 45-1hr. 2 bottles of heed. Aero bottle- refill with water from aid stations. Goal: 3:30 LY: 3:58

T2- Rack bike, helmet of, shoes off, socks on, shoes on grab visor and number handheld and go. Pack handheld with salt and gels. Goal: 1:30 LY:2:34

Run- Get your legs under you. Know the hills are going to be tough lean into them and carry momentum over. Don’t say Can’t. Make sure to take on at aid stations. Every hour gel, every hour salt. Pace: 10:30-10:40 Goal: 2:20 LY: 2:46

Finish time Goal: 6:30ish LY: 7:26:26

Post race: clothes and recoverite

Other things I am doing to help my mental sanity- trying to get songs in my head to use when I am hitting that block on the bike or in the run. Reading every Quassy race report I can- trying to remind myself of the course the challenges and take in other people's pointers.  I am starting to have the sense of calm- let's hope it stays that way! Wish me luck!

My Friend Jen posted this today- really they had to go with a Snake. I HATE SNAKES!!!

Swimming in Triathlon

There has been a lot of hub bub in the triathlon community the last couple weeks with the change to some WTC events being no longer a mass swim start. They are hoping this will help reduce the amount of deaths during the swim in triathlon. This article was in USA Today about the issues: Swimming Deaths Trouble Triathlon Officials

I know I am the not typical triathlete. The swim is my part of the 3! I LOVE the swim! It actually completely calms me on race day. I get in the water with typical race day nerves but I get to do what I am good at first. I luckily don't deal with the anxiety of open water swimming. I know how to deal with someone swimming over me or on top of me or drafting off me. Like I said I know this is out of the ordinary in the sport of triathlon.

When I do swim only races I am not the fastest swimmer by any means. I have been lucky enough to win some swim races but I was a sprinter in my day. I have had to learn about swimming in open water and how to swim longer distance. I can easily show anyone who would like to see the difference in a 50 freestyle stroke and 500 freestyle stroke.  I mean I get it this isn't most triathletes.

But please people- if you are going to do a triathlon race and you have swim anxiety do yourself some favors. Take some swim lessons, get in open water before race day, put yourself in the right place with the wave you start with (or mass swim start), do some visualization, get some coaching on dealing with the anxiety. You are not doing yourself any favors MUSCLING through your swim anxious and stiff as a board. Swimming is better when you are RELAXED. If you are nervous about getting trampled- put yourself on the outside in the back- or wait 30 seconds let the masses go. Really what does that matter to your overall time.

I have to agree with the thought D had about the new Ironman rules on swim start. Make people prove they can do it. I can't sign up for some swim races without proof I can swim a distance in a certain amount of time. Well WTC- how about you do something similar? Instead of everyone having a lifeguard sign off for them. How about you require everyone do participate in 2 WTC 70.3 distance events within 2 years of doing an Ironman? Sounds like a huge win for you- you get their money for participating in 70.3s and you decrease your odds a bit. Now I get it just because you have done events doesn't mean you won't have anxiety and just because you are healthy doesn't mean you won't have a RANDOM heart attack in the middle of the swim. WTC has done something right- offering people more places where they can stop and take a break. It seems many people haven't mastered the idea of flip onto your back and float for a bit so offering areas where people can take a rest while swimming I think will help some.

And just in case anyone is wondering- if I do for some freak reason happen to die in a triathon- know this now- I died doing something I am passionate about and I LOVE!

New England Season Opener Race Recap

So last week I wrote a little bit about my getting ready for the first race of the tri season, Tri Season Starts Sunday.  In my post last week I laid out the plan and goals for the race. And now I look back and read last years race recap, Season Opener Sprint, it makes me realize my goals were perfectly in line with my thinking last year after the race. I had a good dinner the night before and got some sleep, woke up at 4am and started running through the race in my head. When I finally rolled out of bed I got some breakfast, the new standard oatmeal w PB and raisins and I warm up a GF bagel to eat on the way.

We got to Hopkinton a little later than usual and didn't get a great parking spot. But I think this all worked out. Gave me less time to stress over setting transition Great suggestion by D. I laid out my transition and it looked so empty. I forget how much less STUFF you need for a sprint. I had cycling shoes, GPS puck, helmet, bike, run shoes, gel, number, and visor. I even had to have my friend Jen check my transition I wasn't missing something it seemed so skinny. I chatted with a few friends and put on my new CAT3 full sleeve wetsuit.

I lined up for the swim and found my friend Stephanie and we walked down together. I had a gel at what I thought would be 15min before the swim. Trying to keep nutrition plans pretty much the same with all races. We got in the water and shockingly I don't know if it was the full sleeve CAT3 or the water temp but I didn't immediately freeze!

Swim- Goal: under 9min (PLEASE!!!)- 8:10- I seeded myself right at the front on the side by the bouys. I knew I just wanted to GO! If I could I would jump on some feet but it was going to be questionable at this race. And just as I thought no feet to be found. I even caught up to the wave in front of us. I was the second woman from my wave out of the water. I call that a good swim. Even with the pouring rain that started and the choppy water from the wind, I didn't have trouble with sighting it was a good one.

T1- Shorter than last year- 1:49- slightly better than last year and I even had a new full sleeve wetsuit to deal with. I was pretty good I got the sleeves off and the top down to my butt before I even hit the transition area. I forgot to clip my helmet luckily D and my friend Meg working transition reminded me- rookie mistake!

Bike- Goal: 16mph 37minish- 37:11- just over 16mph. It was wet and I had to play it safe. I would have taken a bit more chances on some of the hills if it had been dry. The computrainer classes definitely paid off on the climbs.  I was happy I went road bike with the road conditions. Around mile 5 the other Athena I knew in the race BOMBED by me. I tried to hold on. I kept her in my sight for a couple miles but she got me. It was nice to keep passing guys on the bike. I had half a package of clif blocks and made myself drink some HEED on the uphills to prep for Quassy.

T2- Shorter than last year- 1:10- slightly less than last year. Still want to get it under a minute. I need to just put my shoes on grab the rest of the stuff and GO!

Run- Goal: 9min miles 27ish- 27:06- I actually managed to pull off sub 9 minute miles- like 8:40s. I actually felt pretty good. I still hate that first hill out of transition but I kept telling myself to push it. I knew that Athena wasn't much ahead of me. I thought maybe I could catch her on the run. For the first time in my recollection on this course I didn't completely hate every second of the run, I actually felt pretty good. I was passing guys on the run course and even passed a couple females. The sun started to come out as I was running- cue the humidity. I had one more block at like mile 2 just to give me a little boost to the finish.

When I crossed the line that Athena that was in front of me was waiting on me. She thought I was going to catch her. She only ended up finishing 3 min ahead of me. I actually felt really good when I finished. I pushed it but still had a good time. I smiled and thanked volunteers and friends I saw on the course. As always I had an awesome cheering section with the booming voice of D! My parents were there to cheer. I didn't end up blowing up. I pushed it but still was able to enjoy it. I say its a win!

I ended up taking 2nd in Athena. Took  5 min off my overall time from last year for a PR- 1:15:25. I was really happy with the results. And even more happy to see if I had competed in my age group I would have been 6th. Not bad at all!

Tri Season Starts Sunday

For the past 2 years I have started the season with the New England Season Opener. To be honest I don't love the race. The water is always freezing and I swear it is long. Then the bike and run courses aren't that great. You might ask why I even bother. To be honest it is just to get the rust off. I haven't done a tri since Sept of last year. I feel REALLY rusty.

It is probably a lot of taper crazy talk but I am starting to really get anxious about this race and my whole tri season. This week's taper craziness has made me  1- not want to train at all (possibly ever again) 2- eat all the candy I can get my hands on 3- second guess my whole season. I know this is all crazy talk of my taper but doesn't really help with the anxiety levels. I have started not only to get anxious about this weekend's race but to also be anxious about Quassy in a couple weeks. URGH!

So to try to shut my brain up I just keep running through things in my brain and doing calculations and making plans. When I told my coach I was freaking out she suggested to plan and prepare. So that is where I went with it. I've got a new full sleeve wetsuit to help with the freezing cold water. I plan on riding my road bike since the roads for this race are crappy and the elevation profile is a bumpy mess of 10mi. The run is no fun and hilly itself.

This race is always full of a lot of seasoned triathletes. Lets be honest not many newbies are up for a race this early and especially one that is wetsuit MANDATORY. I asked coach if I needed to come up with a race plan or if the plan was just GOOOOOOO. We decided on GOOOOO but she gave me some idea of goal pace for the bike and run. Looking at last years numbers and this years performances I think I will be good. Lets just hope it doesn't rain!

Goals:
- Reduce swim time- it is always 9 something on this course. IDK why! Its only a 400m swim?! why?! what gives?!
- Reduce transition times- FAST! MOVE its a sprint not a Half!
- Bike last year was just under 16mph. I'd like to get it to 16 or 17mph avg this year. 37min ish
- Run last year 9:38pace. This year get it 9 or under. 27min ish

Last night my ultimate goal for the race came to me while I was on the bike. I have always been afraid to push it on this course. I just worry I am going to blow up. Well this year it is push all the way. I mean it is less time racing than the last 2 races I have done. So it is all out- if I crash and burn it will make for one hell of a story! And I will learn more about my limits!

So that's it. That's the plan. I guess that helps the anxiety a bit now I am just in final preparation mode. Double and triple check the gear and weather reports! Best of luck to everyone else racing this weekend.

Wallis Sands Recap

I kept trying to come up with names for this- one more goal off the list, another PR- I don't even know. So anyway, my first real A race like train for taper for, was Wallis Sands. Coach convinced me to do a early season half marathon just to see where things are going into the season. Worked out well after doing Cherry Blossom at the start of April. The other win- SUPER flat course. YAY!!! Coach and I had the goal of 2 hours. 120 or bust!

Well the bummer was on Thursday I ended up catching whatever is going around the office and was down and out sleeping all day long. Friday was more of the same. I was starting to worry if I was going to be a DNS nevermind actually PR. Saturday things started to get better so I came up with my race plan. When I asked Coach if I should race the response was "shoot for the stars!" So the race plan was with the goal of 2 hours. I kept it skinny- like most run race plans. I had the food plan the drive plan and most of all paces laid out. 9:09 was the goal pace for the race to get 2 hours. I figure with the variation in courses if I kept it at a 9 I would be good. Contingency plan, 9:30s that would still give me a PR over my previous half marathon of 2:16.

I drove myself up to the race. D wanted to do a 5k back home and I didn't want to possibly screw that up by trying to get us both to both races. I bought a new shirt after the Boston Marathon events "Bahston Runnah" I had seen it at the Marthon expo and I figured it was my way to give my nod to being a runner from the area. When I looked up my bib number I nearly screamed what?! 617?! OMG! If you aren't from the Boston area- this is the area code for Boston and has become the unofficial jersey number for Boston Strong. So here I am Bahston Runnah shirt and Bib 617. I figure my race day is already pre determined. I have no say in this. I am going to do the best I possibly can! I am going to push as hard as I can! I figured either I was going to go down in a blaze of glory bonk or I was going to push to the best Half Marathon I have run to date.

Did a little warm up with some Skips made sure I hit the bathroom and it was time to get lined up. They were doing a wave start with 5 min between waves. THANK YOU! TIME! I really appreciate the non congested race start! I got out and tried to keep an eye on my watch I didn't want to go all otu on the flat along the water course and end up with a mess at the end. Then the worst thing happen- I ended up right near 2 ladies both with their ipods cranked up running together SCREAMING at each other about how they felt and pace and getting around people. I was like okay do I speed up and hope they fall back or slow down and hope they speed off. I heard them scream well we are ahead of our 10 min mile plan- okay I'm gone! Please runners- if you are planning on running with a friend don't both wear ipods and scream at each other the whole time its just frustrating to EVERYONE around you! So this is how the race broke down:
Miles 1-3- 8:47, 8:46 (trying to drop the screaming ladies), 8:52 Reached the 5k point (estimated) under 30 min. I start thinking okay find the rhythm 9's is the focus.

Miles 4-6- 8:58- had my gel and grabbed a sip of water at aid station since I didn't know when the next one would be, 9:10, 9:00 - to be honest I started kinda zoning out and just running not really thinking or focusing too much on the race. Okay come on head in the game. But I was still at the 10k point a little before an hour so I thought okay we are good.

Miles 7-9- 9:06, 9:09, 9:28-  this is when I start telling myself. Well the back up plan was 9:30s. Either way I am going to PR. And I start hoping and willing the next water station. I start thinking okay may not be 2 hours but this will be okay. I start doing the well you were sick ....

Miles 10-12- 9:11, 9:35, 9:51- mile 10 I talk myself out of the its okay not to push talk. And get back in the game. At this point whatever has been happening with my shoulder/neck is starting to really hurt and I can't keep an eye on pace. So I did the just run. Just keep running and see how it works out. But at this point my cough started to kick in. Somewhere in Mile 12 I actually did the lets push this into hurt stage. Dig deep. And when I went to push it to the point where I knew it would be hard to catch my breath I couldn't breath cue the cough. I had to walk a couple steps and this girl did the YOU CAN DO IT! Were almost there.

Mile 13- 9:41- Caught my breath stopped coughing and pushed it to the finish. At this point I hadn't really been watching the clock too much I just wanted to get over the line and see the result. Mind you I started 15 min after the actual clock started so I crossed and was a little out of it did a little aw man- clock read 2:17.

As I walked through the chute my brain came back on and I looked down at my watch 2:02:33. I smiled EAR to EAR! The guy on the other side of the barrier must have seen the change in my face and offered up a high five! I grabbed some water and headed to sit by the ocean and tell everyone my results.I was so proud of myself to push to a 14 min PR! 14 min- that is more than a minute per mile faster pace! 2:02! Wow I am a 2 hour half marathoner, my first half marathon was a 2:29. I think that maybe by the next stand alone half marathon I do I will have a sub-2 hour result! Coach is convinced if I had been 100% this would have been sub 2, I have to agree. But- I can't fight with 2 min off my original goal! Especially with being sick!

After the run I got to have lunch made by my coach and hang out with her awesome kids. Then I got home just in time to catch D on his 5k. I got out as much screaming and cheering as I could and yelled him into the finish. All in all the perfect day- Great Race, Wonderful Lunch and Support!

The Most Supportive Enviorment Changed In An Instant- Boston Strong

As I sit listening to the prayer service I am too processing the events of Monday. I wrote up some thoughts and I continue to have emotions that need to be dealt with. I find myself the last couple days being shocked by how little the events of Monday are effecting people. Some people are still driving around in there typical Boston MASSHOLE driving- cutting each other off and flipping each other off. I was shocked at how little the people I work with seemed effected. Business as usual.

I sat at my desk the last couple days and couldn't function as Business as usual. I got things done but just didn't have that same amount of brain power I usually do. I find myself reaching out to fellow runners to feel a little more comforted in what I was going through. I couldn't put the feelings into words very well- it was a heavy heart with my brain racing of all the friends and family and the what ifs.

Yesterday the news buzzed while I was at work and then there was another bomb threat. I sat at my desk and for a minute considered not heading into the city for my Boston Luna Chix team run. I wondered if I would be putting myself in a situation I shouldn't, but I realized I can't live my life that way. I rode into Boston listening to the news and stories about victims recovering. Our run location changed from Newbury, one block from the blast, to the Cambridge side of the Mass Ave Bridge. We gathered and put on bibs Boston Runners United to Remember. As we took a picture a random stranger asked to take one too he thought it was so great we were all out there in the bibs.

As I ran I chatted with my team mates and the other ladies that joined us. We talked through some of our emotions, some of our fear, some of our pain. I started to feel the healing begin. Somewhere along the Esplanade by that lovely dirty Charles I realized I needed to go see Boylston. I asked if anyone wanted to join me. I said out loud I had a feeling I may chicken out on my way there and I might breakdown but I needed to go see it. So 4 of us ran down to Boylston right to the corner of Hereford. That infamous "Right on Hereford Left on Boylston" turn to the finish.

The 4 of us arrived and there were probably 20 other people standing there. Mostly just in silence. We got up against the fence and watched and took it all in. I don't know how long we were there, long enough for the crowd to swell to more like 50. We talked a bit but also didn't talk. Ashley said to me it is so amazing how a place can go from so happy an joyous and supportive for EVERYONE to that. And I have to agree. I find racing to be the one environment where everyone is supportive, no one is cheering against anyone. EVERYONE is there cheering. EVERYONE is there to uplift EVERYONE. And even though on Monday afternoon that changed at the Boston finish line I have 100% confidence that that environment will never change! EVERYONE will always be at those events to support EVERYONE!

So I have to say I saw it and it helped. It really helped me process the events process the emotion. I think spending time with my family of runners helped me process. Seeing Boylston was what I needed to realize that I may not be okay right now but it will be okay eventually.

I left my Runners United bib at the corner of Hereford and Boylston as a little nod to those who endured the tragedy. Thank you so much to the other ladies who came with me. It was really nice to have my family there. As I crossed back over Mass Ave I looked up and took this picture. I don't think I have ever taken any pictures of Boston- I realized this is my home and I will always have a place for this city in my heart. BOSTON STRONG
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